The Human Magnet Syndrome is EXTREMELY predictable. If you are unhappy in your relationship or marriage, and seek the romantic or sexual comfort of another person, it is VERY LIKELY it will be with another narcissist.
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Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT, is the owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment. His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 110,000 copies and are translated into nine languages. Ross’s YouTube channel has amassed over 17million video views and 185K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
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I was single for 6,5 years and very happy. I am a single mom. He sucked me in this awful relationshit. I left 8 times or more and he would suck me back in. I surrendered and I am sorry I did cause I now found out he cheated and lied to me for 3 years. I found out he is a narcissist, he abused me mentally, no love during sex, questioned my intelligence, my being.. I don’t feel lonely cause I thought about it for months and my mind is more at ease. What hurt was the finding out the lies and I actually meant nothing. Two weeks later I left she moved in with him.
Now I am single and this new person tried to suck me into a relationship with him but he has a girlfriend and I said NO !! I will not be a third party and wait till he comes. No no no ! Self love abundance!!
"They're not the reason. . . ." That's alot to think about.
Also, the phrases "gaslit committed" and "you believe you made a choice" are amazing!
I noticed this with the married guy I almost had an affair with, and figured this out, believe it or not, using astrology and tarot. During this situation, I noticed the tarot cards were screaming at me for being the same controlling terrorist this guy's wife is. At first my reaction was, "NO, I'm NOT!! Who, ME??" But then I had to look very, very carefully at my own behavior and see that I was trying to do the very same thing that she was. The very same thing I was angry at her for!!! And I needed to understand W-H-Y I was doing this and that my mission in life was N-O-T to be like this!!!
Then, looking at her natal horoscope chart and mine, I discovered we're pretty much emotional/psychological twins, with very similar childhood relationships with controlling, emotionally squelching mothers. WHICH I would NEVER believe, except … having spent my entire young adult life plowing through books on codependency, relationships, personality disorders, and emotional incest trying to deal with a BPD mother, I a.) already knew it was the truth through reading, and b.) because I had read all this and knew what to ask him, I had already confirmed it was the truth before I read it in her natal chart. My mother was a low-functioning BPD and I turned out high-functioning; I now wonder, with what I know about the wife's functioning in the marriage and the few tantalizing bits I have about her home life as a child, if perhaps she didn't have a high-functioning BPD mother and turn out low-functioning. Either way, we're attracted to the same ACOA man, an adorable person with absolutely no, absolutely no, absolutely NO, self esteem. And NO assertiveness whatsofuckingever.
I began reading Pia Mellody and books of that ilk, and found e-v-e-r-y-t-h-I-n-g I had been reading in the astrology there in those books. In addition, my astrologer predicted, with perfect accuracy, when I would see the guy again. By then, I had read ahead in our transits (a method of predictive astrology), not only that I had the OPTION to resume the relationship, but what was very likely to happen if I did. And what I read there fit the exact descriptions of enmeshed codependent relationships and mirrored e-x-a-c-t-l-y what had just happened in his own marriage. SO,
Looking at this, did I have any doubt whatsoever what would happen if I resumed the relationship? NO! I elected at this time to pass it up.
It seems according to the astrology that we may not be done yet. So I'm waiting to see if this happens or not.
This whole experience has taught me that astrology, practiced properly, is NOT bunk and will tell you the exact same things a good therapist will. It's been fascinating, and I am writing articles on the subject, as I have taken up the formal study of astrology myself.
Let me tell you, there is nothing like a dire warning in your astrological chart to get your ass in therapy straightening your own damn self out. I have made huge progress on my own problems in four years that I probably would never have made if I hadn't learned to read my own natal chart. And the problems I'm still in death struggle with, at least I know what they are and why I have them.
Will I EVER be normal? Fuck knows, man …
You just described my life and exactly what happened to me over the last five years or so as if we know each other.
I do want to clarify though that when you’re in a marriage with somebody who has completely neglected your needs, you never have sex, you’re sneaking around about nothing. In my case I actually told him someone else asked me out and asked him if he cared if I went because that was how distant the relationship between us had become. So just to be clear not only don’t I really call it an affair in my situation, but I think that the only reason that it’s morally wrong to seek getting your needs met when you are stuck in a marriage with somebody who could not care less with those needs are, is because society has opinions about everything that other people do.
Thank you for doing what you do!🤗
Another lesson from the master teacher ❤ Youre so gifted. However I love being alone. I can't deal with new people and I can't deal with group things.. Idk if I have this from the narcissist or if there's another issue. Forgive me if I offend but people in general get on my damn nerves.
The loneliest people in the world are not single people. They are unhappily married people. You can do more about your loneliness when you’re single. I have been single a long time. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. That’s because I keep challenging myself to do the most difficult things I can do. My life has meaning. I love being me. Maybe I should also mention that I’m a believer.
(Jesus)
Wow. This video was 8 years too late for me. I totally lived this nightmare.
I know the trauma, I know the self love deficit, and I'm introducing them to each other In the present. Come on you two, fear is a lie.