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Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT, is the owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment. His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 110,000 copies and are translated into nine languages. Ross’s YouTube channel has amassed over 17million video views and 185K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
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I started setting boundaries with my ex narcissist by simply not accepting his angry apology for something he did hurtful. He blew up and argued with me before I went to work. While I was at work, he texted that he was moving on from me, I responded 'ok' and ignored the other texts. When I got home, he started making demands that we talk and was putting me down and flirting sarcastically. But I responded with a calm manner and said 'you can't put me down, I know what you're like'. I also tried to move it along by asking what does he want to do (to break up) so I can get it over with, and he said 'You'll find out when you're asleep'. I said 'I'm calling the police then'. And after some more arguing, he physically assaulted me until I got out of the apartment to a neighbors. The very next day, he texted asking for his clothes… if I didn't call the police. I couldn't believe he thought I was going to take him back after that. Now we have a court date and that's all there is between us.
Luckily my relation was transatlantic, so no problem getting away. Regarding predictability: Sometimes I almost feel like telling the individual how and when he's slipped up, how very transparent every single word and action truly is…Maybe I'll save that for a future book, and yes I'm aware of the Machiavellian aspect of my hidden knowledge;)
They cheat, lie to cover-up their cheating, play the role of victim, and smear YOU as the villain! NOTHING is ever their fault! They are perfect and flawless! When you come to the understanding that you're married to a mask and it is killing you slowing from the inside out, enough will become enough!! Until then you will stay and go through multiple cycles (Idealization, Devaluation, Discard) as they know exactly what to say or do to bait you and reel you back into the web!! Starting over and even losing friends may be challenging, but the cost is nothing compared to what it will cost you by staying!!If it was a long term marriage or relationship the NO CONTACT or GREY ROCK is essential!! The narcissist most likely is already with and grooming another source. They must 'prove' to your replacement that you were the problem in the relationship or marriage with you, NOT THEM!! They are so slick!! By maintaining a casual friendship with you or continuing to communicate casually, the narcissist uses it to sell to the replacement source that things weren't that bad and the relationship or marriage ended on good or mutual terms. DO NOT, I MEAN DO NOT fall for "Let's at least try to be friends", or "Let's be casual and at least communicate." It's manipulation, a trick and the narcissist knows exactly what they are doing!! It's all about them keeping the mask on and selling their false image!!
That is so hard. I was followed by this spirit for more than a year now.and it didnot go away. I never fall for any fake apologies and fufure faking, I was stalked even during the love bombing phase and I chose to walk away but it never work.I don't know how to make him leave for god sake.
Hi, why will we loose 75% of our friends, etc? Your surgeon generals warning?
Fantastic video. I hope you do this training again!
I had all stages happen over and over. Sometimes all stages would happen in one night. I'm out of crazy town now thankfully!
It’s 3 am and I’m coping with depression insomnia and the need to get stoned over every feeling. Lately I’ve been struggling to feel one emotion at a time and really sit myself in that emotion
What about number 11, where after 10 years, when you have met someone new and your family is happy, and those coping skills are not in place anymore, and the Narc decides to make a shock comeback, and starts hacking your life and stalking you. hiding in the dark plotting their revenge when your guard is down, No mention if that scenario
It came to that. He professed these beautiful things. Apologized for a very important matter. And said we would commit, and move forward when he comes for me. I said what does that mean? He repeated it. I didnt say anything else. I would watch. But when I Refused to "be FWB" he stayed with the "put out girl". She was Easier and he is with her now. It wasn't GENUINE at ALL. She is his SAFETY NET. She fits right in. And PRAISES him. She has something he NEEDS. AND is Stuck.