This was the most difficult video I’ve ever released. I’m putting myself out there in hopes that it helps somebody know… that it helps YOU know… that you are #NotAlone.
Guys when I release videos talking about mental health, I get an enormous amount of messages, emails, and other communications regarding issues that are best discussed with a licensed therapist. As much as love this community and desire to help, I’m just a dude, struggling like a lot of us do, and have a hard enough time handling my own issues. I wish that I could help every person who sends a message individually, but it does get overwhelming and in the past has been pretty gnarly for my own mental well being to try and play therapist to hundreds of awesome folks when I have literally no idea what I’m doing in that area. If you need help, I encourage you to seek counseling from an awesome therapist, and see a psychiatrist if you think meds might help you function better. (Not just a doctor/ family practitioner, but a legit psychiatrist) It might take a few tries to get a therapist/psychiatrist who you jive with, but I promise, when you find the right therapist it makes a world of difference and can save your life. Also, insurance lately has been way better at helping with psychiatry and therapy. My current insurance covers almost the whole bill, and both psychiatry, meds, and therapy end up costing about $20-$30 a month and it has been 100% worth every penny. I still have a long way to go, but I have more hope now than I’ve had in a long time.
If you are struggling, or know somebody else who is struggling, this site has a lot of great resources:
If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call 911 immediately.
If you are in crisis or are experiencing difficult or suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255)
If you’re uncomfortable talking on the phone, you can also text NAMI to 741-741 to be connected to a free, trained crisis counselor on the Crisis Text Line.
#everide #NotAlone
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Prayers for you Tyler. Hang in there mate, you are well respected all around the world. I am sure your honesty will be an encouragement to others facing similar trials.
Still watching the video as I type but I appreciate you taking the time and having the courage to share these things. I can't agree enough that mental health is important, especially this year.
From one human to another just know I care about you Tyler. I hope for and wish you the best on your journey. We are motorcyclists, we are a community, and like any community. We should be here for one another and show support when and where we can.
Again thank you so much for sharing. Vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage and it takes a level of self awareness. I admire anyone who can share like this and be this vulnerable. Again, I wish you and your family the very best. I only wish I could do more to show and give support other than a few words and thoughts.
Hi hang in there you'll get through this heavily rutted track soon enough. There is still heaps more riding to do yet . Love your vids 👍😊🏍
I love you man, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Shalom baby
I know what you are talking about. Hang in there.
I won’t say this vid is fun… but i love you for making it. These things need to be said and you are very brave.
Thank you … the universe dual sport riders thanks you
For those who need it. By Lyla June Johnston, Dineh poet and singer: A “carrier of trauma” is a precious person who brings the survival mechanisms of their past into the world today.
Carriers of trauma have not yet had the space, support, guidance and/or will power to heal. Carriers of trauma often mistake their wounds as shortcomings. I’ll just say that again. Carriers of trauma often mistake their wounds as shortcomings. Instead of seeing these wounds as something that makes them more beautiful and more resilient, they can see these wounds as shameful, bad and something to be avoided. They often blame themselves for the subtle or overt forms of abuse they sustained in the most crucial stages of life (0-5 years old). They are often very hesitant to address these wounds and sometimes avoid looking at them at perilous costs to themselves and others. This self blame can lead to more abuse which scaffolds and builds upon itself until the carrier of trauma can begin to feel quite lost and confused. They may ask “how did I get here?” and blame themselves even further. They may drown the confusion, shame and pain in alcohol, pot smoke, workaholism, or other convenient distractions.
An example might be a son whose mother would only love him if he did what she wanted. He might survive the pain of this conditional love system by telling himself she is “wonderful” and this is “normal”. He may show up in adulthood as an overachiever and have a constant sense that he isn’t measuring up. He may step on others or harm others to be the “top of his class”, out of a deep fear that he will not be appreciated if he “fails”. He may be well into his 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond and not understand that this initial trauma is running his life.
If we are lucky, life gets to a point where the carrier of trauma can no longer deny that something is wrong. If we are lucky, we will have guidance from those who have completed enough of the healing process to help us heal as well. Help us heal from these sneaky tricks and misunderstandings that accumulate over time. The ones that say we are unlovable. The ones that say we are dirty. The ones that say we are shameful. The ones that say “everything is okay” when in fact we are hurting very deeply. The ones that say we are too far gone. The ones that say we have to be “the best.” The ones that say there is only so much love to go around. The ones that say the world is out to get us. There are many beliefs that people can come to accept along the path of life. Coyote baits with them, tricks us into them and pushes them like a drug. We are under immense spiritual attack all along, but luckily these attacks have no power. Only the power we are tricked into giving it.
The vast majority of us are carriers of trauma to some extent or another and that is not our fault. To release these burdens from ourselves and those around us would be a great gift to future generations. It is a very painful process to see that we are actually quite beautiful. To realize that we actually were already “enough” all along. To realize even our own human relatives harmed us out of their own fear. What if the adopted child finally accepts that they were not adopted out because there is something wrong with them, but because their parent didn’t have the courage to fight for them? That is a hard realization. Strangely, it is easier to believe that we were adopted out because there is something fundamentally unlovable about us, than to look it squarely in the face that our parent(s) just didn’t care enough or were too afraid to fight for us
Self blame can be a survival mechanism in and of itself. In other words, easier to blame the self than to really see and feel the cruelty and cowardice of another. Part of us doesn’t want to believe the world is capable of that kind of selfishness. We can rose tint others’ behaviors as a way of “taking the edge off” of reality. The truth is we are a highly traumatized species, capable of wielding great suffering to “save” our own asses. The truth is people succumb to their fears all the time and choose to harm others instead of looking at what’s going on. The truth is we can feel sorry for these people and for ourselves instead of judging them, shaming them or blaming them. We can realize that what they do and say doesn’t actually have any bearing on our worth, our character and our lovability. We can stand up independently, in connection to a Higher Power, knowing we are inherently loved and even liked by Him/Her/It/They/Whatever you name it. We are loved deeply and unwaveringly. Even the “worst” of us, because nobody knows like our Higher Power knows all that we’ve been through. He knows even better than we do often.
How do we, then, cease to be carriers of trauma? That is a very big process for anyone and even bigger for those who have what they call “complex PTSD”, such as that little boy who did not suffer one traumatic event, but years and years worth of thousands of millions of instances of conditional “love” and abuse. This process is worth pursuing nonetheless. No matter how old we are. No matter what type of unique trauma we have experienced. No matter how big and tall the mountain may be. No matter how deeply that trauma may be buried. If we pray for it, our Higher Power will help us access it.
Self healing is worth pursuing because on the other side is joy. On the other side is healing. On the other side is relief. On the other side is love for ourselves and others. On the other side is forgiveness for both ourselves and those who harmed us. Perhaps most rewardingly, however – On the other side there is the ability to help others. What we heal in ourselves we can help in others.
With so much suffering in the world it may feel as though there is not enough time to heal thyself. But there is no time to waste in healing the self. That is where our power lies. That is where our freedom lies. That is where we break the chains of trauma that have enslaved our lineages for generations. That is when we can then arise to address the suffering of the world in the most clear and true and efficient way possible.
Some concrete steps are 1) understand that being a carrier of trauma is not a shortcoming but a wound, 2) like a wounded veteran this trauma does not make us less of a person, but someone honored deeply by the ancestors, 3) admit that maybe childhood, parents and life wasn’t perfect, 4) admit that we may have created very helpful mechanisms to survive those imperfections, 5) admit that even as adults these mechanisms can still run our lives, 6) instead of being discouraged, seize the opportunity to make this day the day it begins to end, 7) begin to talk to others you trust, write in a journal, and pray for deeper understanding of what happened, 8 ) be brave as coyote tries to scare us away from the memories by making us out to be the bad person in those situations (self blame), 9) walk into the emotions instead of away from them, 10) feel the pain, mourn the past, and let it go, 11) forgive — to release the final wound they served us which is the wound of bitterness and anger. See them as poor souls who had so much fear or nothing better to do than harm others. Feel sorry for them and pray for them.
Through these steps of looking, feeling and forgiving, we can all be a little more free, a lot more comfortable in the beautiful being that we are and a lot more courageous for generations not yet born. It is worth the fight – and it will be a fight – to find a safe place to heal.
I never comment on anything, and do not expect this to be read but like you said "This needs to be said". I have watched every video you have made, from across the world. You do amazing work and this is the best video. I confess that I procrastinated watching this for a while, but I am so glad that I saw it.
Tyler, you are valued. you are loved. I cheered when I saw you guest starring in a rocky mountain atv mc video <insert Leonardo Dicarprio once upon a time in hollywood meme>. You are a talented ride, a great content creator and an awesome orator. Take care of yourself. The world needs people like you.
Much love Ty! I am not alone, I can turn to your channel whenever I feel down. Thanks for sharing this! I love you buddy!
God bless you everyde!! Psychotherapy + medication = getring better … interpersonal therapy or CBT are proven to be effective ! !!