I explain the inevitable fallout when a person with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (codependent) confronts and sets boundaries with their Pathologically Narcissistic family members. Confronting narcissistic family meuatment of them, the results in a cascade of narcissistic injuries, which decimates any possibility to continue a relationship.
The resulting terminated relationship is either initiated by the SLD, who no longer wants to be hurt or the narcissist, or by the offended narcissist, whose projected shame requires them to end the relationship.
Hence, the process of standing one’s ground, confronting narcissistic abuse, or trying to hold family members accountable for the harm they perpetrate, results in the SLD (recovering codependent) a “psychological orphan” – a difficult, sad, but necessary position to be in.
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminars, workshops, and other services can be found at his Self-Love Recovery Institute company,
Ross is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and author and is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment.
His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 120,000 copies and is translated into ten languages. Ross’s YouTube channel has amassed over 19 million video views and more than 200K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
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This explains so much. Thank you.
Ross I needed this so much!!
Hi
Do you take clients?
I need to discuss my situation with someone who understands.
yes I live with my cats, but I am at peace
when i told the truth be told its like i never existed. they even took the house. i wish i left years ago as my best friend advised me to do…everyone did turn about. i never felt so alone. i had clients and abused children in foster care cry at night like that when i cared for the…..i never thought id be there. it' an empty feeling the sweeds call it "Tomma." my ex and my sister is doing that now. im ignoring this tactic. im good at aloneness. i have the new hampshire mountains in the fall oh what fun. getting burned my grampie the fireman would call it.
After everything a person goes through prior to becoming a "psychological orphan", I wonder how many of them give up during the 6 month period of total loneliness. It just doesn't seem a fair outcome after all the pain suffered already.
Stay busy. Not lonely! Find a new hobby, make new friends, enjoy the peace!
My fellow co dependents, stay who you are, look inti the eyes of that lonely feeling inside of you, dont run away from it. Take a moment to just be with it, if you want to cry, cry, dont care what others think. You need to be happy with YOU first. We tend to overcompensate for that empty feeling by being overly nice at the expense of ourselves and in the end the result is still we are left unhappy. Basically you have to feel it, to heal. Meditation is veery helpful. Take care of your psyche, mind, heart, exercise, eat healthy and things like that. Do what you love, dont settle for whatever makes you miserable, have the guts to stand up and leave. Dont take crap from others. I could go on and on.