THE GRAY ROCK METHOD DOESN’T WORK AND IS DANGEROUS. In this video Ross compares the Gray Rock method with his Observe Don’t Absorb technique, when dealing with a narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and/or detaching from a Human Magnet Syndrome formed dysfunctional relationship.
As explained in the video, the Gray Rock Method is a passive and manipulative method of detaching from a pathological narcissist. While it is theoretically effective, it is risky and practically unreliable. In this video you will find out why The Gray Rock Method simply doesn’t work, is often dangerous and too risky, and does nothing to solve the attraction patterns that brought the victim to the relationship to begin with.
Codependents or, what Rosenberg calls people with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (Self-Love Deficients/SLD’s), might escape using the Gray Rock Method, but they will be back, as it does nothing to get at the root problem, to find the source of why you are attracted to narcissists.
In the video, Ross explains why his “Observe Don’t Absorb” method is much more effective, reliable and safe.
Ross Rosenberg’s latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminar, workshop and other services can be found at
#grayrock #nocontact #toxicrelationships #rossrosenberg
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I thought "observe dont absorb" WAS grey rock!
If you want to skip the intro, go to 6 minutes 40 seconds
Grey rock didn't work for me. I exploded after a while. I'm still where I first started.
My brother the narcissist, uses the grey rock when he’s confronted for his behavior so as soon as I heard of this method I knew it was not realistic. He smiles with a robotic blankness and says “no I didn’t” and then silence while smiling and dead eyes.
This may make and unhealthy relationship no relationship. If that is all you have you are destroying
any relationship you have. I don't know if this is good. I believe my narc has been grey rocking
me. Our life is veery boring now.
Grey Rock is the same thing as ODA and it works.
I made it clear that i stopped caring no matter what the income
Dammed if i do or dammed if I don’t. I made peace with homelessness if it comes to that.
What if you stick to the facts until your "deathbed" by being calm at the same time. Show them that you aren't going to back down because you are absolutely sure of who's right and who's wrong because of the fact that you remember and know the facts. Doesn't that piss off the narcissist that he/she cannot convince you anyway and make them reconsider the next time they try to feed you with their bullshit?
Gray rock works for a narc you did not chose to have in your life. I use it to avoid giving my narc mother ammunition for manipulation, because I have decided not to go no contact. If you are using gray rock to initiate no contact, it won't work. No contact is exactly than. It's true, you can't convince them to go no contact. Use one or the other: no contact or gray rock. Not both.
Without a personality change, the codependent will continue to attract narcissists. Ad infinitum. Period.
The best use of the Gray Rock Method is to eliminate the attraction of the narcissist to the codependent before a relationship develops. The Gray Rock Method is but one tool to accomplish this personality change.
If you continue to do what you have always done, you will get what you always have gotten.