This information is discussed in detail in Ross’s Chicago seminar, “Healing The Inner Trauma Child”:
In this video Ross explains that adult gaslighting requires a Human Magnet Syndrome driven relationship with a Pathological Narcissist with sociopathic traits, and a person with Self-Love Deficit Disorder/SLDD (codependency). He explains that the narcissist gaslighter purposely looks for a Self-Love Deficit/SLD (codependent) person who experienced gaslighting in their childhood.
A child from a pathologically narcissistic parent is groomed to abandon their innocently accurate reality for that which was implanted by their narcissistic parent. The child learns that if she can suspend reality and replace it with her narcissistic parent’s gaslit narrative, she might get scraps of love, respect, attention, and caring. By understanding the origins of gaslighting, SLD’s can heal that trauma responsible from it.
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT, is the owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment. His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 110,000 copies and are translated into nine languages. Ross’s YouTube channel has amassed over 17million video views and 185K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
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Now I truly understand why I constantly feel suffocated. I'm sandwiched between the gas lighting from my parents only to marry the same type of trait with my husband who gaslight me.
My husband would hide objects to confuse me. He whispered things and then denied it later. He tore up my grocery list at the store, and brought home the wrong items. He was desparate to drive me insane.
Thank You Ross for creating this great video – Gaslighting Started in Childhood – I appreciate your channel. Bright Blessings!!!
Thanks a lot 🙏
What is it called if you're a narcissist that was gaslighted by a narcissist parent? I am assuming this is the child that wasn't the trophy child.
Daughter to mother conversation:
Daughter: I'm sorry this happened
Mother:I have nothing to apologize for.
Thats why our society is so screwed up, with drug abuse, homelessness, i cant stand it when in drug rehabs they blame the victims of the abusive homes, parents and siblings that hated the child and made sure the child would never accomplish anything good in their lives.
one of my chief difficulties in returning again and again to this pattern, is that I feel a deep pain of compassion for this person,
which feels like "love." Some part of me refuses to "label" anyone as "sick" but to see them healed instead. They could be murdering me and I'm seeing them as not a "murderer" but as an innocent being lost in the state of "murdering." I cannot personalise the evil.
How do I handle the compassion, and desire to see the other healed of this disorder? Is it, to see myself healed wholly first? And how would that heal "them"? Growing up, I'm convinced my mother had parhological narcissism (BPD) and I remember thinking over to myself, as she said horrible things to me, "Mommy is sick. She doesn't know what she's doing." And I forgave. and I got sicker and sicker.
Thank you for all that you have revieled my friend. I knew that I had been physically abused as a child. I did find myself lost and disconnected from my own reality after being gaslit by my wife. I have been studying Vessel Vanderkolk " the body keeps the score ". Thank you so so much. My whole life has been tragedy with great reals of triumph mixed in. I am writing a book now and you helped me understand more to do that.
I don't think I was afraid of never being loved as I was afraid for my life. I can't remember that idea of wanting to be loved by my parent but I do remember the gaslighting…. And this video is how I learned what gaslighting means