This is a re-edited version of the video that was published on YouTube November 21, 2013. Before taking it down, it had more than 493,000 views.
From my book The Human Magnet Syndrome:
“Covert narcissists are masters of disguise — successful actors, humanitarians, politicians, clergy members, and even psychotherapists who are beloved and appreciated, but are secretly selfish, calculating, controlling, angry and vindictive. Covert narcissists create an illusion of selflessness while gaining from their elevated status. Although they share similar basic traits with the overt narcissist, i.e., the need for attention, affirmation, approval and recognition, they are stealthier about hiding their selfish and egocentric motives. Unlike the overt narcissist who parades his narcissism for all to see, the covert narcissist furtively hides his real motives and identity. These narcissists are able to trick others into believing they are honest, altruistic and empathetic individuals. They are successful at pretending to be a more likable version of themselves, knowing that if their true identity was uncovered, they would not be able to maintain the respect, status and prestige that they have so furtively garnered.”
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminars, workshops, and other services can be found at his Self-Love Recovery Institute company,
Ross is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and author and is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment.
His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 120,000 copies and is translated into ten languages. Ross’s YouTube channel has amassed over 19 million video views and more than 200K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
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In my opinion, these are the closest to psychopaths. Coz of the level of pretence and psychological revenge with the damaging things they do. Evil! Run … fast!
Finding out the truth was hard, but I'm so glad to know what IT is. Moving on.
Know of any legal aid/pro bono attorneys who can civilly sue and help get a covert narcissist criminally prosecuted for emotional abuse/torture, elder abuse, etc.?
Describe my adopted mother
Although they act covert and fool others with their fake outward personality, they lack self awareness of their condition. We often like to believe narcissists knows exactly what they’re doing to hurt and deceive us. Remember they live in a world of wilful self delusion, running from their true self.
We are just objects in their efforts to help maintain their false self. When we don’t play our part in maintaining their false self we are seen as defective. Pointing out any character defects of a narcissist that challenges their false self is always perceive as an attack. We are directly challenging the lie they are desperately trying to maintain. The mistake we often make is assuming people reason the way we do, towards truth peace and self awareness.
The objective of the narcissist is to maintain the lie of their false self. NO CONTACT is the best option when dealing with a narcissist, then the healing can begin.
Matthew 15:8 NKJV
I always knew something wasn't exactly right with my husband. I thought he was shy and quirky. A few years ago after things worsened, I googled "signs of a toxic marriage"! I also saw his selfishness, attention seeking behaviors and poor communication. I felt alone even though he was sitting in the same room. He's controlling & passive aggressive. My awakening since watching my first YouTube video on narcissistic behavior, has been astounding!!! After 33 years of marriage we're finally divorcing!
What about someone who has never been overtly physically or verbally abusive? Instead, he uses gaslighting, Mr. Professor holier-than-thou lengthy lectures until you submit. I endured that for so many years, losing more and more of my freedom and sense of self. When I finally stood up to him without backing down, I sensed imminent violence–and that's when I got out with my kids.
Please help me an i a covert narcissist?? I feel like I was the biggest asshole to my bf but with his fam im acting all kind and nice
Thanks to you Dr. Rosenburg and several other narcissistic gurus, I never believed the mask from the beginning and that unfortunately is what sucked me in … I knew there was someone powerful and sinister underneath … and this is what intrigued me. Now my family, friends and I could pay dire consequences. Prayers for him are welcome.