This is a re-edited version of the video that was published on YouTube November 21, 2013. Before taking it down, it had more than 493,000 views.
From my book The Human Magnet Syndrome:
“Covert narcissists are masters of disguise — successful actors, humanitarians, politicians, clergy members, and even psychotherapists who are beloved and appreciated, but are secretly selfish, calculating, controlling, angry and vindictive. Covert narcissists create an illusion of selflessness while gaining from their elevated status. Although they share similar basic traits with the overt narcissist, i.e., the need for attention, affirmation, approval and recognition, they are stealthier about hiding their selfish and egocentric motives. Unlike the overt narcissist who parades his narcissism for all to see, the covert narcissist furtively hides his real motives and identity. These narcissists are able to trick others into believing they are honest, altruistic and empathetic individuals. They are successful at pretending to be a more likable version of themselves, knowing that if their true identity was uncovered, they would not be able to maintain the respect, status and prestige that they have so furtively garnered.”
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminars, workshops, and other services can be found at his Self-Love Recovery Institute company,
Ross is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and author and is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment.
His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 120,000 copies and is translated into ten languages. Ross’s YouTube channel has amassed over 19 million video views and more than 200K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
Join us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter:
#covertnarcissist #covertnarcissism #covertnarcissistsigns
Likes: 4312
Views: 110201
I have a question Doctor R., What happens to a Narc when he sees that what he considered or took to be his PNS, or Pathological Narcissistic Space, is threatened or doesn't give as much supply as they once had, do they back off that same PNS or do they keep going back to it in the hopes of getting more supply?
Mine was a Family Medicine Physician. An MD.
I'm terrified of being a covert narcissist. I think of myself as very selfish. I have tried to correct my selfish ways. Some I have, others not so much. When I was younger, I did so many regretful terrible things to my supposed friends. I have a lot of issues I don't like about myself and the way I parent scares me because I get angry with myself and my son then feel horrible and now all this research is making me feel like I don't even deserve to live. I can't figure out what I am. I am with someone who is legally bpd going on 5 years and everyone tells me to run but we are trying codependency work together and working out of these books we have.. am I a pretend codependent? Why is my life like this? I have only ever been diagnosed bipolar 2 but.. what if no one has just seen this in me? I was manipulative as ever as a kid, I hurt my own mother, I hurt siblings.. I have unstable relationships.. my father was an addict and an abusive person who stole from me and used me in my adulthood but I dont remember him much in my childhood because I had an abusive step dad instead. Mom left him after 13 years. I can't afford a decent therapist because I can't hold a job.. what if I'm bpd too just without the anger? I am so confused. I need someone like this Ross guy to pick my brain. I would be absolutely forthcoming about anything if it meant understanding the truth of my nature.
I don't believe that she loved me anymore. Yet she still insists that she loved me. The gaslighting never ends with her.
Just an artist #RecoveringFromNarcissisticAbuse
I had a proof reader on google .. I am a psychic and I felt he was sabotaging my work . When I was about to finish typing my lesson i found them disappeared. . I pretended that i was helpless and complained about an unknown person harassing me this man said it could be someone jealous of me being content and happy all the time but all of a sudden the harassments stopped. It was him harming behind my back. I am a psychic (healing empath ) and my instinct said it was non other than that kind , helpful , decent encouraging , appreciating gentleman that had been a retired technician of Nasa . He was hacking the browser and sabotaging my work. When I introduced this wolf in sheep`s clothes ´ to my German blogger lady friend that was sharing blogs in English I never though a hacker was going to be introduced to that poor woman. I have exposed the wolf in sheep cloths on face book and learned a huge lesson . When I share videos of the psychotherapists , this man goes crazy and attacks the relevant female psychotherapists
on u tube.
This was very helpful.
My mother is a covert narcissist. She is a teacher who projects this loving mother type of image to everyone, but if you know her well you see how she's a manipulative demon. In fact I finally had to go no contact with her, and ever since then my life and mental health has gotten infinitely better. Patti Andrews is a monster.
My mom is the invisible villain. She looks like the big, loving, cuddly, kind, pleasant lady. Except when we were home alone. It was extra sour that nobody believed me, and I was the one put in therapy for being a rebelling puberty stricken drama queen…….
I wasn't. I was a lonely, abused, scared little girl. The therapist believed my mom. It caused me quite some damage.
Thankfully I am now a happy, free, 46yo, with a loving hubby and no mom in sight, because I ran for it. quietly and without ever wanting to see her again, at 17.
The one thing I still struggle with is the fact that occasionally, my Zen gets broken by the want for revenge. And I know I don't truly want to hurt anyone, but apparently the anger underneath is still not healed.
Wow. Just found out a friend of mine has significant traits of a covert narcissist. He'd tell me how good, kind and giving he is. How he always helps others and it is always all about him him him. And then he talks about how his life has been very difficult and how much he's been through. He'd tell me how much he loves me and wants to marry me. But each time I show him interest he ghost me. We make plans and he doesn't show, so I complain and the gaslighting starts. I've ran very quietly. But he calls calls but I told myself, I will never answer and eventually will block the devil.