In this video I demonstrate a technique that is designed to reprogram the thinking and feeling patters of a person with SLDD (Self-Love Deficit Disorder/codependency) who has been unmercifully gaslit by their pathological narcissist. This exercise neutralizes untrue and false self-narratives that were gaslit/implanted into the victim’s psyche.

By creating a visualization of a sympathetic person watching their gaslit selves, they get to see/understand/feel (though the eyes of this person) who they really are; and how that contrasts the self-hating insecure person with whom they have been gaslit into identifying.

More information about Ross Rosenberg services, educational and self-help resources can be found at or

Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT, is the owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment. His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 110,000 copies and are translated into nine languages. Ross’s YouTube channel has amassed over 17million video views and 185K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.

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  1. Tammy Porisky

    Thanks you ….timely and very helpful. Had my first self- observable Panic Attack. Felt so threatened when retriggered by same fear of abandonment from my team. All projecting ego stuff and me trusted to system pressures at work. My team was flipping on me before my eyes. Just learned that feeling is PANiC.

  2. Keke Butterfly

    This is what happend to me.these people are so sick and wicked.

  3. BB BB

    its true narks will set up and create a situation, my ex knew when that time of the month was, so he would delibertly make excessive noise while i lay on the bed with a mirgrane. slamiming kitchen cuboards demanding his supper be made etc, and saying i was lazy..so i got angry one time and came out of the bedroom and yelled,,stop it!! i cant hangle the noise and I said your a inconsiderate jerk, and started crying, and he says look at your, your the uncontroyed crazy one..SERIOUSLY, he do things just to create anger, so he look good..

  4. BB BB

    if you keep pocking at a dog with a stick he'll react. do that long enough the dog will loose trust, and turn on you and may bite…there is just so much a human being can take before they flip out. if the narc is treated the same way they treated you, believe me they could never ever put up with the same crap they put on you..co dependants seem to be stronger in the end, than a narc!!

  5. Stacy Knapp

    Wow! What a great insight! Do the study! It would be a real eye-opener!

  6. Michelle Amundson

    I'm so glad I came across your videos. Not many people that talk about narcissism are so open about the crazy-making and reactions that the victim manifests, and losing tempers. I have still been struggling here and there about my "reactive abuse", I think I've heard it called. I feel ashamed of the way I reacted, even though I know logically that it is actually normal given the circumstances. My husband actually left me and I would not be surprised if he is telling new supply and new friends that I was abusive and he gave me all these chances to change and maybe even that I am borderline. I do care a little bit, I'm not going to lie, but the truth will come out. I am so much happier now and am so glad he left me and I learned all this and know who I really am now. I'm beginning to love myself and I have a long way to go still, but I'm moving ahead and that's what's important.

  7. Mauze Char

    Im trying so hard to not do something stupid to this asshole im stuck living with who is gaslighting me 24/7. Hes the most disgusting evil person ive ever met in my life. This is a very bad situation about to get a lot worse. Hes doing things daily that he knows pisses me off and then calls me crazy for getting upset. Not to mention doing things to my cat. Hes fucking crazy! He actually is a schizophrenic and claims to be a " targeted individual". Hes abusive in multiple ways and I would leave right now if I could. If I didn't have my cat, I would go live in my car. When he gets me to the " rage" state, I am worried about getting to a point that I won't be able to control myself.

  8. Brahmananda Swaroopa

    Keeping my cool in the moment has to be my biggest challenge Ross,again this advice is priceless 🙏 Thankyou it makes sence

  9. Orixá Rose

    My narcissist almost pushed me to suicide and when I was emotional and have I g a mental breakdown he was recording me. As if to capture the moment I succeeded in actually doing it. He does this often. I asked him to delete them, he has many videos of me doing the mental breakdowns he pushed me too. I’m afraid of how they’re being used.

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